It’s been an exhausting couple of months and maybe an exhausting year. Over the course of 2009, I started the discipline of writing songs on Sundays, not always hitting 12 hours, but found that discipline and perseverance create their own inertia.

I realized I have so much to learn and do as a musician, performer, songwriter, and (yikes!) business person. Talent does not equal success.

The goal is communication. The standard is excellence. The road is discipline.

…but there is a lot of joy/heartache/discovery along the way.

I learnt to always use my own equipment and have fun no matter what. I decided not to quit my job just yet because there is much I can learn about applying discipline and perseverance whilst having an apparent lack of time and energy. (How badly do I want it?)

On the flip side of things, I discovered I do fear failure and success and have a lot of self-doubt, (Ugh!) but I think I can work with some of these things. After all, one doesn’t have to believe every thought that comes into one’s mind.

Despite feeling simultaneously tired and yet anxious to return to work, I’m taking a little time off to go on a listening binge, participate in NaNoWriMo, and craft a path of learning for myself. I want to be an excellent musician, songwriter, and performer–among myriad other things. I think I can find a way to do them all, but I will have to invent a new path for myself.

I’m supposed to be recording in early 2010 so I have something to take with me to the east coast. Mwahaha.

No worries! Even I can admit that things take time.

Come out and see some new music! I’ll be at Sammy C’s in Gallup form 8 to 10:30 p.m., 15 October.

Please make sure to come out to the shows later this month! Text me (505 409 2700) or e-mail (grey.swan.music AT gmail) me if you want to come to the house concert. It’s a semi-private thing I’m doing for a friend.

I’ve been meeting a lot of amazing people who are inspiring me to push myself more and more. Things are going slowly, but all at the right time.

The Hot Topic Show is another big deal. I’m really looking forward to getting more into pre-arrangement. I only hope I don’t have to take medications to help me focus. I think I have ADD…or something like that.

I’m working on doing a bit more prerecorded things, and even bought some drum sticks for this percussion thing I’m hoping to do. But it’s too premature to release too much information just yet!

I’m looking into scheduling at least two shows in September. I’ll probably play at Hot Topic, the Coal Street Pub, and at a housewarming party for a friend, but I’m looking to schedule more.

Taking my ma’s advice, I decided I might try to do some prearranged stuff on computer because it will help me to realize what I hear in my head better in this world.

Hopefully I will record a (more professional) demo soon.